Are Restaurant Diners "Guests" or "Customers"?

Dear Pros,

Erika here. I'm continuing a debate today that started in Aspen, at my colleague Mel Hansche's panel about what luxury means in 2026 as part of the American Express x Resy Trade Program by F&W Pro. Do you prefer the word "customer" or "guest" when talking about the people who patronize a restaurant?

As I've discovered while lobbing this question at people, the terms provoke a range of reactions. Does "customer" feel clinical or straightforward? Does "guest" connote a warm invitation or an expectation to bring a bouquet of flowers to the restaurant?

When I polled my colleagues at Food & Wine, some folks said that "guest" conjured warmer hospitality on both sides, instead of a pretentious, problematic "the customer is always right" type of mindset. Kat Kinsman pointed out that renowned Raleigh chef Ashley Christensen even has a tattoo that says "guest." I've also heard the counterargument. I'll never forget how one of my former editors would furiously delete the word "guest" anytime she spotted it in a story draft. We aren't houseguests, she would say. Diners pay for their food; therefore, they are customers.

This week, Food & Wine contributor Patricia Kelly Yeo followed up with the industry veterans who were on Mel's panel in Aspen. Simon Kim, the restaurateur whose award-winning projects include the Michelin-starred Korean steakhouse Cote and the fancy fried chicken restaurant Cocodaq, teaches his team to refer to diners as customers.

Referencing his upbringing in Seoul, South Korea, Kim told Yeo, "When I invite someone to my house, there are expectations on what to do and what not to do. As a guest, you should bring something to the table. As a service provider, we don't have any such expectations of our customers."

Jake Potashnick, the chef and owner of Feld, a tiny fine-dining spot in Chicago, was adamant that all of the people who walk into his restaurant are guests. "I want every single person who walks in the door to feel like they're in my living room, in my kitchen," he said.

Pros, I would love to know where you stand. As a diner, do you have a preference about what you're called — and what that might mean about a restaurant's mindset? As a restaurant owner, do you have rules for your team, or a different word you use? Let me know at the email below, and I may feature your response in next week's F&W mailbag.

Take care,
Erika

The F&W Pro Mailbag

Last week, I asked what you would change about how restaurants are run in order to better ensure employees are paid a competitive wage.

"I wouldn't 'just wish,' I would make it happen. Can we make a petition for it? We need to fix this and should be embarrassed by how we treat our service workers. No one, especially anyone who works in food, should have to face what we currently face, just to give people their food."

— Ashley Passino, industry veteran

[Editor's note: Ashley has in fact made a petition, which is live right here.]

"If I could change one thing, it would be the attitudes of the operators, staff, and public.

Operators: Recognize that your team is the most important item in your operation. They are the main point of contact with the guests. In every survey that has been done on restaurants, service and food quality are neck and neck for how customers perceive the quality of a restaurant and if they will come back.

Staff: Respect each other's contributions, recognize you are in it together, help those who struggle, and know that everyone does better in that environment.

Public: Consistently delivering high-quality food and excellent service takes a tremendous amount of effort. There are significant investments in both time and money. If price is your only measure, then you are a significant part of the problem."

— Aidan Murphy, former vice president of operations for Restaurant Associates