Memo To All Employees: Confidential Announcement

Jan 27, 2024, 2:15 AM•shinesty

From The Reinforced Desk Chair Of Frankie Lapenna

TESTING. TESTING. Test. Test(icles).

Hear Ye Hear Ye Employees:

Frankie here, your Chief ASSet officer. This is the first email I’ve ever sent and I don’t like it (I already forgot my email password and don’t feel like resetting it).
Effective Immediately (part 1)- we are going back to AOL Instant Messenger. It works better (add me as b!gjoocyb88ty69).

Anyways… effective immediately (part 2), our revolutionary Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear will no longer be known as “Ball Hammocks.” I’m changing the name to…

BUTT HAMMOCKS

DO NOT RELEASE LOGO

*I made this in ClipArt with the little paper clip guy. Art bois/girls, please make s3xier & joocier.*

Supporting balls is great, but the more impressive feat is our underwear can support the 2 Christmas hams I smuggle in my pants.

We’ve all got butts - nice ones. From now on, ALL of our underwear will be called Butt Hammocks. This will instantly double our customer base. And as your Chief ASSet Officer, it’s my job to make our company’s bottom line as juicy as my own.

With this, I need someone to test discount code internally before we open the flood gates to the mASSes.

CODE: BUTTHAMMOCKS69
*disclaimer - it’s 15% off, not 69% off. 69 just has a ring to it.

Image of The Chasing Tail | Shinesty x Frankie LaPenna Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear With Fly

Image of The American Cake | Shinesty x Frankie LaPenna Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear With Fly

Image of The Dumper Sticker | Shinesty x Frankie LaPenna Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear With Fly

TRY & CLICK THIS WITH YOUR BUTT >>

Stay Weird,
Frankie LaPenna
Chief ASSet Officer

We're at 2930 Umatilla St. Denver, CO 80211 Unit #400

Legal Mumbo Jumbo: BUTTHAMMOCKS69 is good till January 31st, 2024 at 11:59pm MT. Cannot be combined with any other offer. One use per person.

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