We're sorry.

Jan 3, 2026, 2:00 AM•shinesty

I want my address removed from your mailing list. Do not send your TRASHY catalogs to my home. I have small children who don't need to be exposed to this shit. PS. Tell the ** that produce you garbage at the very least put the photos of STD Cocktail porn stars on the inside of the catalog pages. If you send anotehr catalog for my childern to see, I will persue legal action, pedos.

As is tradition, it looks like we need to issue some apologies for this year’s catalog. While we felt this catalog deserved a modest PG-13 rating, we will review and rank the pages as if we’re giving movies MPAA ratings before we doll out apologies.

Hey guys, can you please take me off your mailing list, and email list? Sorry the pig in the holiday mailer was too much ya big sick nasties, lol. But for ealt, I'm not in the market for your products any more, and you may was well save on postage. Good luck withe the holiday season. This is no different than the 1995 comedy-drama movie Babe, just a lil’ thicker. The pig is the greatest thing to grace this catalog. If anything, we apologize for not including more of her.

Brandon B. Do not send anymore magazines to my home. Unsubscribe me from everything. I have kids and my wife and I do not appreciate receiving your pornographic catalogue. I ordered the underwear by accident not realizing the innuendo attached. Just thought they were comfortable. I do not want to receive anything else from your company again. Thank you. We will issue an apology here, however, it is directed toward our photographer. Sorry you had to see this, Claire. We weren’t aware that the production coordinator forgot to put him in a pair of “never nudes.”

Just curious about why a Shinesty magazine was sent to my PARENTS HOUSE. Their addess has never been in the system for my subscriptiopn and it was under my name. I just got phone from a very awkward conversation and would like to prevent having to do that again lol. We will absolutely not apologize for that and according to what gets a PG13 rating in cinema, you are allowed to show one bare butt.

We polled the office with the intent of offering you guidance on how to have this talk. But after we heard some nightmare stories, we can at least offer some guidance on what not to say. "Listen, I don't want to do this either. This is going to be awkward and you're gonna hate it but we're just gonna get this done." KP My best friend and I were 5, in those sweet backwards facing seats driving down the road in my parents old Volvo station wagon. We started arguing over how babies were made. I said it was a pill that moms took, he said it happens when the dad goes to sleep naked and the mom is only in a t-shirt. It got heated. We tried to settle it with fisticuffs. My dad had to pull over on the side of the road, and right there, he gave us an incredibly detailed description about insertion, friction, and sperm. - Chris W.

My dad told me we were going shopping for back to school clothes, trapped me in the car, and gave me a 45 minute conversation about why men actually tell you they like your hair. I'm still traumatized but had a kid at 19 so I don't think it worked. - Cara. My dad used deer as an example of how it works and I've never looked at deer the same since. He literally did the pointer finger sliding in the other thumb and pointer finger together, I really didn't learn much. - Hunter R. I grew up on a farm. No mystery about how or why or who keeps a T-shirt on and who doesn't. The 2 boars that couldn't get enough of each other took a little explaining….. - Shelly

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Entering the Love Tunnel 💗

let's play find the fudgehole ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏

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We don’t do Dry January, but we have a friend who does…

New Year? Get some Hobbies ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏

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shinesty

Dec 31, 2025, 2:02 AM

the dirtiest print of the year goes to…

here's your shinesty wrapped ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏

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Dec 29, 2025, 3:00 AM

12/29 | 4:00 - 4:01 pm MST | 50% off EVERYTHING

“i THougHT It wUz EazteRN TiMe!” - upset people ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏

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shinesty

Dec 27, 2025, 9:14 PM

for one minute, everything is 50% off.

Monday. 4 - 4:01pm MST. You've been warned. ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏

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shinesty

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You forgot the presents, deadbeat.

But we're here to bail you out. ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏

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Our Cyber Monday Free Gift promotion is live

And will be dead very soon. ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏

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shinesty

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hey, Black Friday weekend is coming to a close.

Finish the job and claim the gifts. ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏

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"You guys are idiots” - Erik G

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