this email is not for her eyes

Jul 26, 2025, 12:00 PM•shinesty

Buying Your Wife, Girlfriend, or Friend w/ Benefits Intimates

*Ok ok, I clicked to send this to “likely men” in our email program. It guesses based on your email address and/or name. Plz don’t hate me if you're one of the many wonderful women in our audience. Just stop reading immediately and fwd this as a gentle nudge to someone who needs to treat you this week.

1. DO THIS, NOT THAT: When in doubt, size down. ‘Nuff said. Better yet, just use a hot lil’ ROUNDDOWN(AVERAGE()) combo in Excel to find out what jeans she buys most. When she asks how you knew her size just reply “because math.” Not into Excel? Fear not. We made a free model you can use here. Still too much? Just use our size guides.

2. DO THIS, NOT THAT: Buy what she wears most, not what you most want to see her wearing Don’t believe me? Buy some edible underwear or any of the many crotch-optional styles from the bowels of Amazon and I’ll wait to say “told you so” when you realize you’ve never seen them 6mos later.

DO NOT SKIP #2. In fact, repeat #2. Then, tread carefully. Now’s your chance to sneak a couple thongs or risqué prints into your cart. Aim for a 3:1 ratio of what she wants to what you really hope she wants.

4. DO THIS, NOT THAT: Buy quality, not quantity. You’re right, it’s not much fabric. But, what you think her underwear cost and what they actually cost are like very off. Not all of us grew up on shiddy Hanes 12pks.

If all else fails. We got you covered with: Free returns & exchanges If she doesn’t love her first pair, it’s free Our blame us hotline, simply send any negative feedback you receive to the address below or email customerservice@calvinklein.com Calvin Klein, Inc. ATTN: Marketing Feedback Division 205 W. 39th Street New York, NY 10018

Stay Weird & Buy Her Underwear

This extremely tasteful, hand crafted, organic, non-gmo, vegan, gluten free email was designed by Joaco and written by Jens

If you get brownie points from the missus, reply here and we’ll make sure to 1:1 match ‘em.

6050 Washington St. Unit 130 Denver, CO 80216

We hope you aren't down here to click this: unsubscribe

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