Untold stories of public embarrassment

Jul 30, 2025, 5:00 AM•shinesty

It’s a dark day when your most trusted companion turns into a traitor. These are true stories of underwear betrayal that led these women to upgrade their drawers. CTA: Let this be your sign to do the same.

The THE EXTRA CREDIT During a meeting, reached up my leggings to investigate a strange shin bulge. It was a thong. Launder status unclear. Shoved it back. Kept nodding and taking notes.

Get Underwear That Only Goes Where Invited

THE DIRTY LITTLE SECRET At a restaurant. Tried to straighten the pocket of my jeans. Found a missing pair of dirty underwear. Put them back and grabbed more bread without missing a beat.

THE RIP At a bar, 3 cocktails deep. Tugged my seamless thong with gusto & ripped it clean across the crotch. Now it’s a belt. Threw it away and continued to the 4th cocktail commando.

THE DOWN DOG At morning yoga. Unrolled my mat to find two lacey thongs fastened firmly via static cling. Calmly placed them next to my water bottle like a sweat rag. No one said a word.

THE BRAZILIAN BREACH At a concert. Pulled down my cheekies ft. a maxi pad that inexplicably adhered to my unshaven bikini line resulting in an untimely waxing. A shriek was emitted.

If your underwear has ever betrayed you, now is the time to retire the traitors. Upgrade to underwear that stays put, holds up & behaves better in public.

Stay Weird, Upgrade & Never Feel Like This Again

This extremely tasteful, hand crafted, organic, non-gmo, vegan, gluten free email was designed by Joaco and written by Paige

I still remember my first thong. It was a hot pink lace g-string covered in dollar signs. I was 14 years old. Wtf?

We're at: 6050 Washington St. Unit 130 Denver, CO 80216

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