For Sale: Ozzy Osbourne’s DNA

Jun 17, 2025, 4:08 PM•liquiddeath

Ozzy Osbourne is 1 of 1. But we’re selling his actual DNA so you can recycle him forever.

Yes, we really got the Prince of Darkness to drink from 10 cans of our low-calorie Iced Tea. And yes, he actually crushed each can himself. In the process, he left behind trace DNA from his saliva that you can now own. He even hand-signed each packaging label.

Now, when technology and federal law permits, you’ll be able to replicate Ozzy Osbourne and enjoy him for hundreds of years into the future. But you better hurry, there are only 10 Infinitely Recyclable Ozzy cans available to buy.

HELL YES

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