This week's piece by author and goal coach Abbie Schiller puts a name to something almost no one talks about—a feeling I remember acutely from two Augusts ago, when our last kid left for college. After 20 years with motherhood as my most defining role, I was completely destabilized by the move into the next phase—the one without everyone sleeping under the same roof. It was like coming undone; I didn't know what to orient around anymore, how to stop tracking the content of their every waking hour, what I was even supposed to do with myself. I tried to lean into the freed-up time, but walking past empty bedrooms still plunged me into a despair that felt essential and desperate, and one I seemed to carry alone. Over time, as a new normal set in, actively letting go of that identity—feeling the grief when it came, honoring everything I had put into that phase of life, and embracing their freedom and mine—gave me access to myself in a way I hadn't felt in a long time. If you have an empty nest looming, or are in the midst of big change, I hope you'll find this essay helpful.
Love, Gwyneth
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