Preparing for an Unmedicated Birth & A Dad Doula’s Message 🗣️

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Preparing for a baby can feel like a marathon. You’re getting the nursery ready, making sure you have all the essentials, and setting everything up just so. But one thing we don’t often talk about is getting mentally prepared for childbirth and all that comes after—and we need to in order to take care of ourselves.

So, we’re highlighting stories that encourage soon-to-be-moms to think more deeply about what it means to be “ready” for your baby. Like the difference it can make in your labor to know what’s going on in your body when the first big contraction hits or the huge impact that simply carving out a schedule for protected sleep will have on your postpartum well-being. Remember, there is no happy baby without a happy caregiver. 

Read on for more stories of self-discovery in parenthood, including how moms say their identities did—or didn’t change—after they had a baby, tips for effectively communicating with your partner when you’re both exhausted new parents, and the dad doula who is helping fathers step up and advocate for their loved ones during childbirth. 

MOM LIFE

EXPECTFUL 

Does motherhood actually change you? These women say it’s complicated. 

The experience of becoming a mom is different for everyone. Some people feel an immediate, overpowering love for their baby that transforms their identity overnight. Others feel more tired, perhaps, but don’t experience motherhood as a metamorphosis of self. Here’s what 18 women had to say about who they are after having kids.

TALKING POINTS

EXPECTFUL

How to talk with your partner when the new parent exhaustion is real.

There’s nothing like a new baby to make 3 a.m. arguments with your partner go from zero to a hundred in an instant. You’re both exhausted, you’re recovering physically, hormones are all over the place, and you’re figuring out how to take care of a little stranger. The good news, according to a new parent coach, is that a few tweaks to your communication style will go a long way to having better conversations.

CLASS ACTION

Graphic: Anja Slibar

THE 19TH

Nursing parents are suing companies over the lack of workplace accommodations.

After Congress passed a law called the Pump Act in 2022, employers were required to provide workers with adequate break time and a private space—preferably with a lock—to pump. “It also gave workers a new and very powerful weapon: If their bosses didn’t comply, they could sue,” writes Chabeli Carrazana. Now, parents are doing just that.

CAREER CHANGE

Image: James and Shunquita Hogue

PEOPLE

This dad doula wants fathers to step up and advocate for their loved ones during childbirth.

When James Hogue’s wife experienced a difficult pregnancy and delivery, he had a realization: women, especially Black women, need an advocate in the room. So, he became a doula to help other fathers be prepared. “Knowing how difficult it is for Black women in particular, and the disparities are clear, I wanted fathers who are well-informed so they can be their first line of defense,” he told People.

SHIFT WORK

ROMPER

Forget the sleep training debate, the best way to prevent PPD is to make a plan for ‘protected sleep.’ 

Protected sleep refers to carving out four- to six-hour chunks of sleep for each parent, where one is “on” and the other is “off” during the night—and has nothing to do with sleep training your baby or not. “It’s totally possible for the family to find a way to sleep. It just might not look the way the books tell you that it’s supposed to look, but f*ck the books,” says an expert.

Something to Share

The first few days with your baby will feel magical—and like you’re on another planet.

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